Two Left Feet
by happyday girl
Summary: Pre-series oneshot. As an upcoming ball approaches, Porthos admits to his friends that he doesn't know how to dance. Aramis resolves to teach him, and ropes in Athos to help... Please R&R!


Two left feet

'Maybe I could just pretend to be ill...' Porthos muttered hopefully as he opened the door to his rooms, the door banging as Athos and Aramis followed him- he threw down the leaflet that had been scrunched tightly in his hands ever since Captain Treville had cornered them as they left the Garrison for the evening.

'You'll do no such thing!' Athos admonished, sitting down in Porthos' armchair. 'You'll still be expected to guard the palace for the rest of the night.'

'Besides, we're only going to be expected to dance for a complete maximum of twenty minutes,' Aramis added from the kitchen, where he was already pouring three glasses of wine.

'Twenty minutes?!' Porthos exploded, shaking his head. 'I can't even manage one!'

'Nonsense,' Athos shook his head as he accepted the glass from Aramis. 'Surely you can dance a little?'

Porthos shot him a deadpan, pointed look, before pointing to himself with both hands. 'Athos, look at me-' he started, '-What makes you think I can dance?'

Athos and Aramis, whose nobility meant they had been afforded the luxury of teaching for the finer dances, looked at each other. 'Point taken.' Aramis laughed, before setting down his half-finished glass and standing up. 'No matter, no matter...' he said as he strode towards Porthos, arms outstretched. 'We'll teach you, right?' he looked to Athos, who snorted and held up his hands.

'I'm drinking- you teach, I'll watch.'

'Alright- Porthos...take my hands!' he grinned, snapping his fingers as Porthos hesitated. 'Come on, the ball is in two weeks. You need to be competent at most of the dances, plus the Waltz for the first dance.'

He clicked his fingers again as Porthos gave him a look. 'Come on, we all had to start somewhere!'

'Yeah, but...' Porthos sighed, realising he really didn't have much of a choice. He clasped Aramis' hands, squeezing tightly with a wry chuckle as Aramis attempted to get out of the firm grip.

'What?' he asked lightly as he lessened his grip. 'You wanted me to hold your hands, didn't you?'

'Now come on Porthos, I'm trying to teach you!' Aramis laughed, shaking his head teasingly. 'If you break my hands I'm going to be very upset!'

'Alright, alright...' Porthos sighed, resigning himself as Aramis started stepping around the room, forcing him to follow on unsure legs.

'Come on Porthos...I want to see free, fluid movements... gracefulness... style...' Aramis instructed, hands steady as he led the bigger man round the room, being careful not to trip over rugs and tables as he did so.

'Style...grace...' Porthos repeated, his face a picture of concentration. 'Aramis, we're just walking around in circles!'

'Why not teach him the Waltz?' Athos said from his seat by the wine decanter. 'That is the basis for most dances.'

'Excellent idea!'Aramis nodded as they stopped in the middle of the room. 'Let's begin with the basic steps, shall we?' he asked, before looking Porthos up and down. 'I'm afraid you'll have to be the woman!' he grinned, before letting go of Porthos and readjusting his hold.

'You be the woman!' Porthos shot back, feeling heat creep into his face.

'I would, but I am more adept at the man's movements, for obvious reasons- we can switch later once you've mastered the basic movements.'

'Alright...' Porthos huffed, rolling his eyes as Aramis stepped forwards and placed a hand on his waist. 'Now, take my hand...' he muttered, catching the man's large hand in his own and holding it.

'Right- I shall step forwards with my left foot...you step backwards with your right foot...' he instructed, before beginning the movements. Porthos stumbled backwards, grasping Aramis' hand tightly as he tried not to trip over.

'Excellent!' Aramis grinned, before clearing his throat. 'Now, I shall step right with my right foot- you shall do the opposite, and step left with your left foot.'

'Left with left foot...' Porthos repeated, frowning as he tried to make his feet go in the direction he wanted. He growled in frustration before he stepped across to the left. He looked up with a smile as Aramis nodded enthusiastically. 'There, see!' the medic smiled, 'You're a natural!'

They both looked across to Athos, who nodded with a smile of his own. 'You'll be doing it with ease in no time.'

'Exactly- right, lets continue, shall we?' Aramis said, turning back to Porthos. 'Now, lets close our positions...I shall close my left foot to my right, and you close your right foot to your left...' they executed the move with ease, but even Porthos could tell this move was not hard.

'Now...I will step backwards with my right foot- you step forward with your left..' again the move was completed in seconds.

'Brilliant! Now, I'll step to the left with my left foot. You step right with your right- got it?'

'Right with right foot... got it...' Porthos muttered, stepping to the side.

'And now...close the position...' Aramis said, and as the two men's feet clicked together they stepped apart, with Aramis beaming across at his friend. 'There- those are the basic steps of the Waltz!'

'Seems easy enough..' Porthos said, stepping side to side in bid to remember the instructions he had just been given.

'Now you've got to do it faster!' Athos spoke up, before looking at the two men. 'Come on, I'll do the beat if you'd like?'

'Beat?' Porthos asked, frowning.

'Yes, the Waltz typically is danced using the counts of one-two-three.' Athos explained, draining his glass of wine. 'It helps keep pace.'

'Yes, let's go a bit faster, shall we?' Aramis grinned, before he grasped Porthos and put his hand on his waist once more.

They assumed their positions as Athos cleared his throat. 'One, two three, one, two, three...' he started, keeping pace as Aramis led a suddenly nervous Porthos around the room.

It became clear quite quickly that Porthos needed more tutelage... the miss-steps Aramis could deal with; he merely adjusted his grip of Porthos' waist and instructed him on where to put his feet. The foot-stepping...not so much. He grimaced as Porthos put his full weight on his foot, but tried not to let the pain show.

The second time he could not withhold a small gasp of pain. 'Stop a second,' he muttered, before releasing Porthos and rubbing his foot with a pained chuckle.

'Sorry..' Porthos muttered, wincing for his friend.

'It's quite alright- you just need more practice, is all...' Aramis waved off the concern with a laugh. He looked across to Athos, who had taken this lapse of dancing to pour himself another glass of wine. 'What you need is a demonstration!' the medic said, eyes alight with mischief.

Athos looked up as Aramis walked towards him, arms outstretched. 'What?' he asked, eyes wide.

'No, no I don't think so- Aramis I said no!' but it was no use- with deft hands Aramis had taken the glass out of his leader's hand and placed it on the table, before taking hold of both of Athos' hands and hauling him to his feet.

'He needs to learn!' Aramis grinned as he led Athos into the middle of the room. 'And what better to teach him than a demonstration from a master!'

'I wouldn't call myself a master...' Athos grumbled, before sighing as Porthos gratefully took his place in his armchair and slid Atho's wine glass towards him.

'Nonsense, you're as quickfooted a man I've ever met!'Aramis chuckled, clasping his hands.

'Do you want to be the man or the woman?' he asked lightly, eyebrow quirked.

'Man, thank you.' Athos muttered, rolling his eyes as the two adjusted their holds- Aramis chuckled as Athos grasped his waist, before putting his arm on Athos' forearm.

'Right- Porthos, would you be so kind as to provide the count of three?' he called to the other man, who sat forwards and began his counting.

Athos inwardly sighed as he led Aramis expertly around the room- their movements were well timed and synchronised, with a fluidity that Porthos just couldn't believe. The two men Waltzed around the wooden floor, their eyes firmly fixed on one another as they anticipated each other's next steps.

Porthos chuckled as Athos suddenly threw in a new move- Aramis was already wise to this move, he could see, as the medic grinned and the two men performed a turn, before they started a series of rises and falls as they moved around the room again, causing Aramis to chuckle and move the tempo up a little. They danced expertly for a few more minutes, showing off different types of steps and moves, before coming to a slow stop in front of Porthos, who clapped as the two men stepped apart.

'Excellent- who taught you that turn?' Aramis chuckled as he walked over to the remaining glasses of wine and handed one to Athos.

'You did, remember?' Athos replied, downing his drink in one as Aramis bowed to Porthos, who was still chuckling in his chair. 'That's more than enough dancing for me, I think...' he added, putting his glass down and picking up his coat. 'I shall see you tomorrow,' he added, nodding to the two men.

'I'll come out with you,' Aramis called, picking up his own coat and hat before turning to Porthos.

'Same time tomorrow night?' he said as Porthos walked to the door with the two of them.

'I guess so- I'm never going to be as good as you two, though..' He shrugged, to which Aramis put a hand on his shoulder.

'Practice makes perfect, my friend!' he said with a nod. 'You think Athos and I became that proficient overnight?'

'I suppose not...'

'And besides-' Athos piped up from the path as he put on his gloves. 'Aramis still steps on the feet of every poor woman he is partnered with at these balls!'

'I do not!' Aramis protested, shaking his head. 'What lies and slander!' he added with a grin. The two men waved their hands at Porthos as they made their ways home- Porthos waved back before stepping back into his house, muttering 'one-two-three, one-two-three...' as he went.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed that, it made a nice change from 'In safe hands' and I just couldn't get the idea out of my head!**

 **Thanks for reading, please review!**

 **X**


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